How To Stop Being A Victim

"Stop being a victim and thinking that life happens to you. You have the strength to change anything in your life. If you don't like something then get up your courage and change it. You are more powerful than you think you are. To make changes in your life you have to be truly ready and willing." I read this quote somewhere and I really liked it. I liked it so much that I wrote it down and put it on a sticky note and saved it. I thought it would inspire me to do better.

Hmm....Sounds good, right? Then why has it taken me so many years to get to this point. Why did I insist on making the same mistakes over and over again without learning the obvious lesson to be learned. I believe it was the part about being truly ready and willing that had me a bit confused. You see in order to move forward successfully one has to leave the past behind. Not drag it along with you like a ball and chain.

Change is life. Everything changes from moment to moment, but when you are unwilling to move along and change with it you remain stuck. Stuck in the same place you were in ten years ago. My life seemed to be a series of repeats. I would try to be strong and change the way I was doing things and for a while it would work. Eventually though I would always end up back at the same spot again.

In the past two years I have gone through some drastic changes in my life. They are what I consider to be permanent changes. The most drastic is the way I now eat. I have not eaten much meat for years now, but I don't eat any at all anymore. I consider this a permanent change because the way I think about it has changed to the point that I am absolutely unable to eat meat. I have certain thoughts about it that enable me to do this without any problem at all. The other change is I refuse to do anything that will make me very unhappy while I am doing it. This includes jobs, doing things for other people, anything that just doesn't feel right in my gut. I have no problem doing something that I don't feel like doing as long as it is being done for the right reason. Such as, to help someone. I just refuse to be used by anyone.

The other thing I have stopped doing is feeling sorry for myself. Granted I never did too much of that anyway, but I did it enough. Instead of wondering why I could never stick to whatever new diet was out there to try, I researched until I found the right fit for me. Then I pushed forward and did it. No wishy, washy reasons why I couldn't do it. I just did it because I knew it was the right thing for me. Let's face it, I was finally ready to change. Ready and willing. I was ready to let go of all the reasons that I couldn't do it and grab onto the reasons I needed to do it. All the right reasons.

Sometimes a person can think too much about why he or she does things. Sometimes it really is better to just go ahead and do it. (Hence the famous Nike saying....) Dwelling too long on all the reasons you can't do something just gives you more time to come up with other reasons not to do it. So next time you know for sure that what you are doing is not working, close your eyes for a few minutes and try to picture the way you want it to be instead. If what you see is what you truly want deep in your gut, then go for it! Take a giant leap forward and hang on for dear life. Don't look back, no matter how much you may want to. There are great things ahead for you! All you have to do is know for sure that you deserve it.



Peace & Good Luck,

Laurie

Winning The Sugar War

I did it. I won the mental battle against the Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. It was, however, not an easy win. I came as close as standing there staring at it with wanton lust. For those of you who think that is an extreme way to describe it, listen up. I looked it up in the dictionary and wanton means unrestrained, careless and without regard for what is right. Lust means (Among other things...) uncontrolled, intense appetite. Now you tell me, is that a perfect description or what?

Those of you who share my weakness for all that is sugar and sweetness can relate I'm sure. There were times in the past when I have literally counted pennies just to get a candy bar or ice cream sundae. And the worst part of that is it doesn't stop after one slip. For me, if I had one, I wanted another. And another. And another. That craving never seemed to go away. But guess what-it does go away! No, you can't change your thought patterns completely and banish the thoughts of ice cream forever. Yes, you will still have to be around someone eating ice cream at some point in your life. You can however make it manageable. I found that the longer I went without sugar in my diet, the less I craved it. Eventually, in about two weeks I would say, the physical craving was gone. I say physical because that part of it is very real. Once all traces of the refined bad guy were out of my system I no longer had the highs and lows that accompany crazy glucose levels.

Now when I say no refined sugar, I mean pretty much none. This includes anything white. White bread, white flour, white sugar. All that stuff just turns to sugar inside you. I also became a label reader. There are so many different names for sugar today that I could never list them all. My suggestion is that you check out what they are and keep a list handy. There are some great apps out there with this type of information and some are free. The physical craving is not all you have to deal with though.

For me the toughest thing about giving up sugar was the mental part of it. You have heard the saying "comfort food"? Well, that pretty much describes anything high in sugar calories for me. Talking about my childhood will more than likely bring back certain memories for me. Unfortunately a lot of those memories surround tables of food. I grew up in a close knit Irish-Italian family that sort of revolved around food. I say that with lots of love. I had the best childhood anyone could have and I wouldn't have traded it for anything. When I think of all the holidays and birthdays that we spent together I also think of all the cakes, cookies, breads, appetizers and main dishes we shared. There was always so much food. Way too much food, really! It was like a small army would be joining us only they never showed up. Maybe it came from a time when my grandparents were young and there wasn't always enough to eat. Maybe instilled somewhere inside my grandmother's head was the thought that there would not be enough for everyone, so she always made extra. Then she passed that mind set on to her daughter and son, and they in turn passed it on, and so on. And then it got to me.

It is amazing how hard it is to break patterns of thought that were put there when you were a child. It's really got to be the hardest thing I have had to do on this journey. To somehow disassociate food with love is a tough call. Somehow I had to replace my love for food with my love for myself. I had to love myself enough to do the right thing for myself.  That my friends is not always easy. I needed to learn to put my health first, before the desires of my loved ones. I had to convince myself that I was worth all this trouble and I had to fight for the right to do it. Most of us women have spent years taking care of others, be it husbands, children, older parents, or sometimes even strangers. Many times we come last and it is time, I tell you, to put ourselves first. I deserve to be healthy and happy just as much as anyone else does.

Having come to that conclusion I would encourage you to really listen to your heart and soul on this one. It takes a lot of daily work for me to remember how special I am. That's right I said it. I am special! Shout it from the rooftops. Well, maybe we don't have to go that far. Maybe just saying it out loud to ourselves or writing it down or meditating about it would be enough. It's up to us each to figure out what works best for us and then follow through with it. I have gone on and off more diets than I can count, and it took me this long to figure out that there really is no such thing as going on and off a diet. It is a myth. The reality is that the only thing that really works is to listen to ourselves, to our own bodies and then give it what it needs to be healthy. Then stick to it. Each day. One day at a time. Start with simple changes and go from there. Eventually the mental part will fall in line with the physical part. When that starts to happen it can be amazing. Just try it. Do it for yourself.


Peace & Courage,

Laurie

Baby Steps

I just got a text from my oldest and dearest friend in New Jersey. She told me that she had read about some of the changes I wrote about here. The one she mentioned was waking up to warm lemon water with cayenne pepper. Not sure that she is willing to swap her beloved coffee for spicy lemon water yet! Well, I have a confession to make. I am still drinking coffee in the morning. Yes, it's true. I. Am. Not. Perfect. I am however making progress and moving in a forward direction. I used to drink four or five cups of coffee every morning. Now I drink one or two and my warm, spicy lemon juice! Baby steps people. Baby steps. I figure that as long as I am not going backwards I am doing alright.

One thing I notice about some people is that they are short on patience. I think that as I have gotten older I have become more patient. Not only with other people and situations, but with myself. I am learning to be gentle with myself and give myself the time I need to make changes in my life. To do this I need to have a certain amount of self confidence. I need to realize that I am capable of making changes. I have just as much worth as all those people out there who I see changing their life habits for better, healthier ones. We are, each one of us, worth the trouble. After all, what is more important than our own health? Without it we probably won't be here for long, and I for one am still curious about what lies around the next corner.

Peace & Healthiness,

Laurie